“You need 50 minutes of material which must include something classical, a sonata, a significant 20th century work, something borrowed,something blue, a dragon scale, a two headed newt, and a ring of power” 😓😓😓
Go to the woods and bring me back
One: the cow as white as milk,
Two: the cape as red as blood,
Three: the hair as yellow as corn,
Four: the slipper as pure as gold.
A sense of humor can make everything better. Sex isn’t like it is in the movies or in porn. There will be strange and weird and awkward sounds, there might be a silly interruption like the cat or a kid… you might knock heads or trip getting undressed. Sex is funny, foreplay is funny and sometimes you need to just laugh. It will keep things from getting awkward! If you take sex too seriously you aren’t truly enjoying it!
Not to mention a sense of humor can be really sexy no matter what your gender identity is!
this comic is literally my favorite thing on tumblr.
i’ve always said if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with while you’re having sex with them you shouldn’t be having sex with them.
God.
My husband once walked up behind me while i was sitting in the living room just watching t.v…and he put his penis on my shoulder and said “hello..”
THIS WAS HIS SEDUCTION.
THIS WAS HIS IDEA OF HOW TO GET ME INTO BED.
it worked, but not before I laughed for days.
For that last comment.
I always had a ton of weird funky condoms at my place because I volunteered with Planned Parenthood and did a lot of sex education and sex positive work. I literally had no less than like thirty different types of condoms at a time. So when it came time to grabbing a condom it was a grab bag of WHO KNOWS what you’ll end up with.
Long story short, my boyfriend grabs one, puts it on, heat of the moment type thing, a some point we both look down and see it’s an ELECTRIC GREEN condom. Dead pan he looks me straight in the eye and in his best impression goes “HEY HO. KERMIT DEE FROG HERE.” And I COMPLETELY LOST IT.
On a completely different occasion I said “don’t stop” and he sang ALL of Don’t Stop Believing. All of it. All of it. Right then and there. Without stopping.
Can I add the story about how me and one of my partners had a very enthralling discussion about deserts while I was on top of him?
Or the time my partner’s friends blasted “Eye of the Tiger” through the door and we rocked it out to the beat while quoting the movie?
Story time:
I was with this girl during a trip out to Washington, we’d hung out a few times, and hit it off really well. So we got together one afternoon. Her dorm-mate came home, saw the “Do Not Disturb” sock on her bedroom door and called out “Thrusters to full!”
Not missing a beat the girl and I yelled back “We’re giving it all we’ve got, Captain!” and her roommate started fucking dying outside the door.
Probably should have proposed right on the spot, but whatever.
It got better.
I am laughing so hard right now oh my god this is perfection in so many ways.
I always thought this was just a commentary on how attractive laughter is
↖️ this person washes their ass
This only has 2k+ notes 😓
All my followers better reblpg this or imma worry 😅
have to reblog every time i see it
Every damn day. Had to reblog this again. Daily hygiene is a must!
😄
As some of you guys know, I painted this hat a while ago. A lot of people were interested in purchasing one and I now have some good news for those people. You can now buy one of these hats right here! There are only a few listed right now, but as soon as those ones are sold, I will be adding more! :)
aslo here is my original post of this hat.
Carolyn Jones sitting in her iconic chair with her usual strong pose, with Anjelica Huston and Christina Ricci at her side. Had to finish it otherwise it would have bugged me all night. Wanted a clean finish so no backdrop was added.
sext: you look like the universe decided that it was tired of being so immense so it compressed all of its beauty and complexity and wonder into a smaller form so it could make everyone around it feel like they were a part of the stars
NASA’s potential trip to Europa should have everyone excited
On Monday, NASA administrator Charles Bolden applauded President Barack Obama’s proposed $18.5 billion 2016 NASA budget, which proposes raising the agency’s budget by $519 million over 2015 levels. While scientists and researchers may be overjoyed with the Obama administration’s renewed financial commitment to the space agency, space lovers of all stripes have something else to celebrate: $30 million for the initial stages of a mission to Jupiter’s moon of Europa.
